How to Create Boundaries for Yourself
Boundaries are important to preserve your own peace of mind, tranquility, and sanity. Many of us hear about people who have good boundaries but developing boundaries requires some thought and skill. Having boundaries means that you respect yourself as well as the other person and it is through boundaries that you teach others how you want to be treated. Consider what you hold to be the closest to you in the way of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. These are the things you want to create boundaries for. It is not necessary to be completely open about yourself to everyone you know, whether the persons involved are family or friends. Keep in mind the only power others have over you is the power you give them and this is done through what information about yourself you give to others. Being comfortable in yourself is very important here because if you are outside of your comfort zone there will be a greater chance of others taking advantage of you when you probably do not want that to happen.
Boundaries are created to provide you with physical, emotional, intellectual, and rule-based protection. Once you have these boundaries set, you give yourself the kind of security necessary to survive as a human being.(1) Physical boundaries are just as important as emotional, intellectual, and rule-based boundaries because it is important that you not allow others to take advantage of you in the touching process. Some people do not like being touched at all. It is important to communicate your boundaries in a civil fashion if you are suddenly grabbed and you do not want to be touched that way.
Meeting new people is always a good thing and getting to know people is a gradual process. It is like starting with the narrow end of the funnel then gradually opening it up the more you get to know a person as a friend. Some people will prey on another person’s vulnerability and you don’t want to let that happen to you. It is possible to be polite without letting others pry into your personal life. If someone suddenly asks you a question regarding a private aspect of your life, you can always politely ask, “Why do you ask?”. Or, you can always mention that the subject brought up by another person is not something you regularly discuss, then that gives you the advantage of changing the subject.(2)
Boundaries can also be created to protect your personal interests or ambitions. As sad as it sounds, if you are too open with your ambitions, people can and will try to discourage you from achieving them. It is perfectly okay to pursue your own happiness – it is after all one of the things mentioned in our national Constitution.
Just don’t allow your ambitions to get the better of you and stay focused on the goal right from the start and don blinkers to the distractions in your life. For better focus, you need a sharp mind and you can get it by consuming supplements from BeyondVita.com.
Avoid being surrounded by gossip, negativity, and toxic people. Also avoid the concept that true friendship cannot exist unless there is some type of conflict involved. There will be some people who want to spend every waking minute with you and unless that person is your spouse or long-term partner, there is no need for that. Such persons can be a drain on your personal energy. It is okay to say no to others for certain things, especially if you feel that by saying no, you protect a piece of information about yourself. Be consistent with your boundaries in your relationships with others. Once you have a well defined set of boundaries, you show others that you respect yourself as well as respect their boundaries, too.